A Woman Explains Female
Birth Control Methods

female birth control

Regardless of your political leanings, a recent Senate decision that requires private health insurance providers to cover women’s birth control methods should make you a happy man. Why? It can only mean good things for your sex life. And yet I’ve found most guys are surprisingly ignorant about women’s birth control methods.

I know most men aren’t ignorant jackasses who think using contraception makes a woman a “slut.” (Hey, Rush Limbaugh! I’m looking at you, tubby!) And I know that most men know that relying on the pull-out method is a terrible idea. But knowing just a little more about your lady’s birth-control method of choice can help you better understand any mood swings she might have, figure out when to avoid squeezing her boobs, and know the time of the month when you’re most easily able to give her an orgasm. Not bad, huh?


birth control pill 250THE PILL
• Despite what Foster Freiss and my Italian friend’s grandmother says, the pill is not effective when the woman holds it between her knees.

• But taken orally once a day, it’s an excellent way to keep a woman’s ovaries from releasing an egg. No egg means there’s nothing for your little swimmers to fertilize.

• The pill can reduce a woman’s risk of developing certain cancers, acne, cramps, and the emotional roller coaster that is PMS.

• The good news: In the first three months after starting oral contraceptives, her breasts will probably get larger. The bad news: They’ll also get more sensitive to pain, which means she may not want you squeezing, biting, or thrusting body parts between them.