A Woman Explains Female
Birth Control Methods

BIRTH-CONTROL METHODS SHE SHOULDN’T USE

1) The Pull-Out Method
If finishing on her is your thing and she’s cool with it, knock yourself out, Picasso. Just don’t think it’s a valid form of birth control since a little bit of semen sometimes seeps out before ejaculation.

2) The Cross-Your-Fingers Method
You (or more likely, she) has decided that sex is not on the menu tonight so you don’t think about birth control. Then one thing leads to another and you’re bumping and grinding without a condom. Oops. Not only do you run a slight risk of knocking her up, you might also be sharing STDs.

3) The Rhythm Method
Periodic abstinence — refraining from sex when the woman is fertile — works so well I’m pretty sure it’s the only birth control the Duggars use.