How To Hook Up With a Bridesmaid

Hot bridesmaid3. KNOW WHEN SHE’S GOING TO HEAD TO THE BAR
When you hear the DJ use phrases like “This one’s for all the couples out there!” or “We’re going to slow things down here,” that’s your cue to get a drink. Because at that moment every unattached woman will make a beeline for the bar or the bathroom. Waiting inside the ladies’ room would not go over well, so I suggest you go with the bar. Order your future bedfellow a drink, leave the bartender a finski (classy!), and ask her how her duties are going. Most bridesmaids are secretly looking for an opportunity to vent. Give her one, throw in a few understanding looks, and you’ll score major points.

4. BRING A NICE CAMERA
This one’s a little out there, but I’ve seen it work so well that I suspect Nikon means “panty-dropper” in Japanese. Women love looking good on Facebook, and high-end cameras take awesomely flattering photos. Yes, the wedding photographer will also take awesomely flattering photos, but those may not be available for weeks. You, on the other hand, can get her the photos in a day or two. I’m not saying you should bring a ginormous mega-zoom lens, but you could borrow a friend’s top-of-the-line point-and-shoot or DLSR. Take some shots of the party atmosphere when she’s nearby, show her a few that she’s in, and say, “These came out great!” I have seen women pose repeatedly for the guy with the nice camera, then spend the rest of the evening saddled up next to him, looking over his shoulder at the shots.

5. MAKE HER NOT FEEL LIKE A SLUT
Women and our morals! Right? Actually, her reluctance to go back to your room is probably more about the fact that she just witnessed something extremely romantic and isn’t exactly eager to follow it up by boning some dude wearing awful dress shoes. (Seriously, wtf?) So you need to trick your bridesmaid into feeling like there’s the possibility of a future together — even if that future is tomorrow, sitting next to each other at the post-wedding brunch. So offer to email her those photos and suggest you help each other deal with your hangovers at brunch the following day.