How to Respond When Someone Uses Your Past Against You

We’ve all experienced it—someone tries to use our past against us to discredit our current situation or invalidate our current feelings. This can be incredibly damaging and it’s important that we know how to respond in these situations so that we don’t let our past dictate how we handle ourselves today.

Understand Why They’re Doing it

When someone brings up your past, they’re trying to hurt you. That doesn’t mean that what they’re saying is true or even valid; it just means that they are using words as weapons. It’s important to remember this when responding because it will help you stay focused on the facts instead of getting sidetracked by their attempts at manipulation. Also, try to understand why they might be doing this—are they jealous of your success? Are they trying to make themselves feel better by making you feel worse? Understanding their motivations can help you stay level-headed and not take what they say too personally.

Stay Calm and Collected

It’s natural for us to get defensive when someone brings up our past, but try your best not to do this. Getting angry and lashing out won’t help the situation and may only make things worse. Instead, focus on staying calm and collected no matter how hard it is — practice deep breathing or count backwards from 10 if you need a moment of clarity.

Once you have regained your composure, respond in a rational manner with facts instead of emotions. If possible, try to turn the conversation back around into something positive without dwelling on the negative aspects of your past; if not, simply state that what happened was in the past and move on without engaging further in the conversation.

Focus on What You’ve Learned From Your Past Experiences

At times like these, it’s important that we remember all of the lessons we’ve learned from our experiences in life – both good and bad – so that we can use them for growth going forward. Remind yourself (and others) about how far you have come since then and all of the valuable lessons you have learned along the way.

This will show those who are trying to bring you down that nothing anyone says can stop you from achieving whatever goals you set for yourself – regardless of where you started from or what mistakes may have been made in the past.

Final Thoughts

No one deserves for their past mistakes or experiences to be used against them as a way of invalidating their current feelings or position in life. Remembering these tips will help keep your composure when someone tries to bring up your past as a way of discrediting who you are today – stay calm and collected, focus on understanding why they might be doing this, and never forget all of the valuable lessons you’ve learned through those experiences! With these tools at hand, no one can ever bring down your spirit or hinder your progress!