Oh Good, It’s a
$290 Paper Bag!

Jil Sander paper bag

Do you carry your lunch in a normal paper bag? Then you are an unfashionable sucker, because you should be carrying it in the Jil Sander Vasari bag. For a mere $290 you can show the world you’re willing to shell out for a designer paper bag, and thereby show the world that you’re equal parts Patrick Bateman and Jacobim Mugatu.

But allow me to play devil’s advocate here for a moment. My girlfriends have Goyard bags (okay, I do too) that, like the Vasari, are made of coated canvas with special stitching. (We like to think it’s done by blind nuns in Provence.) The difference is that ours have tiny French magic eye prints on them and cost $1,100. Yes, I know, shut up. Anyway, if you take into account how much high-fashion accessories cost, one could argue that the Vasari bag is actually a steal at $290 — it even comes with actual gold-plated grommet hardware!

Still not convinced? Let’s do some math: When you figure in cost per wear, $290 is about $2.50 a work day for a year. That’s more than an actual paper bag, but less than whatever you get at Starbucks — and it’s a hell of a lot better than what it is for my $1,100 bag. Other advantages of the minimalist Vasari include not having to make a decision between a briefcase or messenger bag. Instead, you can go lo-fi and attract cute girls who use the phrase “farm-to-table” a lot. Or who yap about recycling all the time. Or who can spot a Jil Sander bag from 100 yards away.

Anyway, they’re all sold out, so you can’t even buy one if you wanted to. You can, however, still get the leather version, which comes with a fancy magentic clasp and costs only $630!