7 Tips (From a Cop) To Get Out of
a Speeding Ticket

ModernMan.com speeding ticket

Whether you were overexcited because your favorite ABBA song came on the radio, or you were out to show some jerk that your station wagon can get it done, you got popped for speeding. That doesn’t mean you’re going to be arrested and hauled off to jail, but if you get issued a speeding ticket, it’s going to cost you a lot of money. What can you do to get out of the speeding ticket? There are no full-proof methods, but according to our friend, Officer Jamie — it’s not his real name, but he really is a 20-year veteran of the New York State Police — you’ve got a shot if you follow his seven pieces of advice.

Last month, an Indiana police officer was shot multiple times during what initially appeared to be a “routine” traffic stop. We bring that up because even though you’re not a demented sociopath (well, except for you, Randy) the cop doesn’t know that. So if you see the flashers on behind you, pull off into a well-lit and open area, turn off the car, turn on the interior lights if it’s nighttime, keep your hands on the wheel, and silently pray to any and all gods you can think of that you’re going to get out of the speeding ticket. Oh, and don’t go rooting around the glove compartment for your proof of insurance until after you’re asked for it.

Wait until you’re asked to provide information and documentation — and, needless to say, provide it — before politely asking if you can explain your side of things. If you act like a jerk, expect no favors. In addition, asking, “’Why did you stop me?” is like calling the officer a liar. You weren’t picked at random, so implying there was no reason to stop you questions the officer’s integrity. “To me, that’s a dick thing to do,” Officer Jamie says. He then related this exchange he once had with a perp:

Driver: What the fuck are you stopping me for?
Officer Jamie: Sir, speeding.
Driver: Are you fucking kidding me? I was doing 75 mph!
Officer Jamie: Sir, actually it was 76 mph, past a marked police car, which you were tailgating.
Driver: 76 mph? You stopped me for doing one mile over the limit? Tailgating? You were going too slow! You’re a fucking asshole!!!
Officer Jamie: Sir, the speed limit is 50 mph, so you were doing 26 miles over the limit.
Driver: Really? Well I just moved here from New Jersey where its 75 mph. Oh, and you’re still an asshole!
Officer Jamie: Thank you sir, I enjoy compliments. And welcome to New York!