What is Projection and Why Does it Happen in Relationships?

We’ve all heard of projection before, but what exactly is it? In psychology, projection is defined as a defense mechanism people use in order to deal with their own insecurities or emotions. Essentially, people project their own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs onto others in order to avoid facing their own issues.

Projection often happens in relationships because it’s easier to deal with our own baggage when we’re not alone. When we’re in a relationship, we tend to put all of our focus on the other person instead of ourselves. This can be harmful because it doesn’t allow us to work through our own issues. Over time, this can lead to resentment and even breakups.

So, how can you tell if you’re projecting onto your partner? Here are some common signs:

1. You’re quick to get defensive.

If you find yourself getting defensive every time your partner brings up a topic or issue, it’s likely that you’re projecting. Instead of being able to have a calm, rational discussion, you shut down and become defensive. This only furthers the divide between you and your partner and makes it harder to resolve the issue at hand.

2. You’re always right (in your mind).

No one is right all the time, but when you’re projecting onto your partner, you tend to think that you are. You might find yourself getting into arguments with your partner where you feel like you have to be right in order for them to see things your way. This ultimately leads to a power struggle within the relationship.

3. You make assumptions about what they’re thinking or feeling.

When we project, we often make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling without actually asking them. We might assume that they feel the same way we do about a certain situation or that they should know how we feel without us having to tell them. This can cause frustration and misunderstandings within the relationship.

4. You take everything personally.

If you find yourself taking everything your partner says or does personally, it’s likely that you’re projecting onto them. Instead of being able to see things from their perspective, you only see things from your own point of view. This can make it difficult to empathize with your partner and understand where they’re coming from.


If you find yourself exhibiting any of these signs, it’s important to take a step back and examine why that might be. Chances are, there are some unresolved issues that you need to work through on your own before they start causing problems in your relationship. Talk to your partner about what you’re feeling and why you think you might be projecting onto them. By doing this, you can start to work through these issues together and build a stronger foundation for your relationship moving forward.[/blog]