15 Ways To Flip Off Jerks
Flipping someone off with your middle finger may be mankind’s single most efficient way of conveying emotion. And these are our favorite ways to do it.
By ModernMan Editors
Human beings have been flipping off each other for centuries. When the gesture was used in Ancient Greece and Rome, the middle finger represented the penis, and the knuckles were stand-ins for balls. As years passed, middle-finger artists honed and perfected the craft, putting their own unique stamps on the gesture.
That’s why today there are as many ways to give the middle finger as there are middle fingers on your hands. Wait … no, there are way more, actually. And so in honor of World Middle Finger Day — but really just because we wanted to flip the bird with impunity all over the office — we’ve come up with our favorite ways to flip off those we hate. If you have other methods you particularly enjoy, please let us know in the comments.
1. THE ROBOCOP
Universally obscene. Even if you did this to an alien who had just landed on earth 8 seconds ago and who possessed tentacles instead of hands and fingers, that alien would be all, “Hey, what’s your problem?!”
2. THE RAMPART
More advanced than The RoboCop, it makes it clear that this is not your first middle-finger rodeo.
3. THE PHANTOM
A noncommittal flip-off is a sure sign of a rookie or a coward … or someone suffering from debilitating rheumatoid arthritis.
4. THE SIDEWINDER
Flipping the bird sideways shows people you don’t play by their rules, but you also run the risk of looking like you’re merely pointing badly.
5. THE BOHUNK
Grabbing your biceps is a high-risk, high-reward proposition. On one hand, it can drive home just how much you hate someone. On the other hand, you can look like you’re playing a street tough in a Broadway musical.
6. THE POCKET ROCKET
Especially devastating, since the victim will probably be expecting you to reach into your pocket and pull out a piece of candy or half-dollar or some other delightful gift.