5 Lessons From A Loser: Michael Lohan

Michael Lohan is a terrible father to Lindsay Lohan, an ex-con, and an attention whore. But that doesn’t mean he can’t teach us a few things.

By Zack Zeigler

Most people think Lindsay Lohan’s dear ol’ dad, Michael Lohan, is a terrible father who relentlessly capitalizes on Lindsay’s fame.

And they’re right! But there’s so much more to him: He’s spent years in prison. He’s been a “celebrity” “boxer.” He wears mesh shirts. And it’s because of all of that reprehensible behavior that Michael Lohan can teach us so many lessons …

LESSON 1: Use Protection
Michael Lohan married his future ex-wife Dina in November 1985; eight months later a bundle of joy-ish named Lindsay Lohan showed up. That’s not quite shotgun wedding material, but it certainly eliminated any carefree newlywededness.

TAGS: Dina Lohan, horrible people, Lindsay Lohan, loser, Maury, Michael Lohan