I’m not a prude. That’s not to say I’m easy. I’m most certainly not … Well, most of the time I’m not. It’s just that, like you, I enjoy sex and I’m not opposed to a one-night stand if the situation presents itself. And no, just because I’m a woman writing that doesn’t make me a slut or a tramp. I’m a goddamn human.
But things can go south quickly — and that’s not some clever sexual innuendo, you perv. I mean I can be turned off easier than I can be turned on. I don’t have unrealistic expectations or want you to try to be perfect, but I do require you to act civilized and treat me with the same respect I treat you. You’d be surprised as how often that’s too much to ask.
Even still, making all the right moves to get me into the sack doesn’t guarantee our personalities will mesh or there will be chemistry. But making all the wrong ones will ensure that you’ll go home alone. Whether you’re in a relationship or trying to pick someone like me up for a fling, these are seven things you’ll want to avoid …
#1. GOING OVERBOARD WITH DIRTY TALK
There’s a fine line between using words that rev us up or make us want to dart out of your apartment. Women, as reported in 2007, hate the word “moist” (as in “moist panties”). Also, using the “C” word, excessive cursing or slang terms for genitalia are also off of the table. Use your head — your other head. Try focusing on something specific and non-obvious about what’s turning you on.
Don’t comment on how tight my ass is, or how squishy or firm my breasts are. Yawn. Instead, turn your attention to my hair, eyeliner, or outfit. Those things were done to get your attention, so throw me a bone and let me know it worked. Knowing I succeeded will turn me on.