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A Woman Explains Female
Birth Control Methods

Knowing a thing or two about women’s birth control methods not only makes you seem like a sensitive fella, it’ll also make you better in bed.

By Lucy Henry

THE RING (aka THE NUVA RING)
• She inserts this flexible ring into her vahoohajaynanny, where it releases hormones similar to those in the pill.

• It’s “worn” for three weeks, taken out for one, and then replaced with a new ring.

• You probably won’t notice it during sex, but you might if you manually stimulate her. Um, try not to yank it out, if possible.

• Because of the way the ring works — it increases bloodflow to her nethers, stamps out PMS, and doesn’t eff with her hormones like the Pill — your lady may very well experience a noticeable spike in libido every fourth week.

• That week of unbridled sex craving happens to coincide with her period. If that grosses you out too much to take advantage of her randiness, you’re less than a man.

THE PATCH (aka ORTHO EVRA)
• This square, bandage-like thing contains all the same hormones and works the same was as the pill and the ring, so it’ll stop her from getting pregnant (but will not help her quit smoking).

• She sticks it on her butt, stomach, upper arm, or upper torso. She needs to change it once a week.

• Though it’s way less common than other hormonal contraceptives, Ortho Evra is just as affective and has all the same side effects and benefits.

TAGS: relationships, sex, women

Post a comment:

Aaron Sp (Mon, 12 Mar 2012 01:02:54 +0000): I prefer the aspirin between the knees, it would be cheaper. Do you think private health insurance providers are going to magically pull money out of their asses to pay for every woman to be on birth control? No. It will raise our premiums you wacko! I'm not paying for the sexual needs of other women! Nice political agenda. I'll buy you an aspirin!

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