KNOCK KNOCK
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please open door. Is so cold.
LIGHTBULB
Q: How many Latvians it take to screw in lightbulb?
A: Who have lightbulb?
SEVEN
Q: Why is six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven in secret police. I beg of you, do not speak of him again.
PIG
Latvian walks into bar with pig on shoulder.
Bartender say, “Look delicious!”
Pig say, “No. Taste of Latvian ruined by many centuries of despair.”
ROAD
Q: Is dead dog in road and is dead Latvian in road. What is difference?
A: Dog have fur for warmth. Also, freedom.
GENII
Latvian rub lamp and genii pop out.
Genii say, “What is three wishes?”
Latvian say, “I wish potato!”
POOF! Potato! Latvian so happy! “Oh! Is potato! Is potato!” say Latvian.
Genii ask, “What is next wish?”
Latvian say, “I wish you go away so I can eat potato!”
POOF! Genii and lamp disappear. Sadly, was only lamp.
SONS
Three Latvians brag about their sons.
“My son is soldier. He kill many Cossacks,” say first Latvian.
Second Latvian say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!”
Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son die at birth. For him, terrible struggle has ended.”
“You are winner,” admit others.
All are sad.
