Non-Lethal Weapons That Still Hurt Like Hell

They might not kill you, but these non-lethal weapons will cause so much hurt you’ll be begging for a quick death.

By Ari Eisner

After a disaster strikes, a controversial court verdict is read on live TV, or one of Philadelphia’s pro sports teams wins a title, rioting and/or looting is pretty much a given. And that’s when the fuzz has to strap on riot gear and get to work.

For some bizarre reason, the cops aren’t always authorized to blow away evil-doers in those situations. So they often resort to non-lethal weapons in order to restore law and order. Whether they stun you, electrocute you, blind you, or just make you weep shameful tears, here are six of the most badass non-lethal weapons we could find.

eXtended Range Electronic Projectile (XREP)
Dispersing crowds with rubber bullets is so 20th Century. Riot police can now load 12-gauge shotguns with these projectiles, which basically amount to wireless tasers with ranges of more than 100 feet. Upon impact the slug induces muscle paralysis and sends its target into hilarious convulsions.

Thunder Generator Sound Cannon
A concoction of cooking gas, liquefied petroleum, and air creates a shock wave capable of stunning people up to 100 meters away. Even cooler? Anyone unlucky enough to be less than 10 meters away from this thing can suffer brain damage. So it’s technically non-lethal, but we wouldn’t take our chances.

Long Range Acoustic Device (LRAD)
It sounds like the name of a bad college punk band, but the LRAD is a 45-pound black disc capable of producing a beam of sound that’s far worse than three poorly but loudly played chords. The sound it produces can be just plain ol’ irritating or so painful it brings you to your knees and causes permanent hearing loss. However, if you’re wearing ear protection, the device is ineffective.

TAGS: pain, weapons


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Alexandros Papas (Mon, 04 Jul 2011 10:01:40 +0000): Non-Lethal Weapons That Still Hurt Like Hell
Caleb Isenor (Tue, 05 Jul 2011 03:00:01 +0000): Omg theese look like they would hurt please don't use on me lol.
David Lloyd-Jones (Sun, 10 Jul 2011 02:39:38 +0000): The CNE uses country and western music to cool down the Arcade Strip when hot summer evenings get a little bit too funky. And I think the last near riot I saw at Dundas Square (I came out of the subway on the non-riot side of the police line after something stupid happened in hockey) could probably have been shut down by some loud Mozart. Trouble, neither of these ploys has the Second Amendment going for it..... and too many city councillors are afraid of looking namby-pamby if they vote against more toys for boys. -dlj
Michael Long (Sun, 07 Aug 2011 02:56:58 +0000): good times
Sheldon Fisher (Wed, 10 Aug 2011 03:35:15 +0000): brutal "non-lethal" weapons!
Guy Goddard (Wed, 24 Aug 2011 18:07:25 +0000): The ADS does NOT cook from the inside out. The microwaves penetrate less then.1 of an inch. It feels like your getting a ban sunburn.
Boris Kaluža (Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:36:08 +0000): happy to survive?
Cullen Jack Pyburn (Fri, 09 Dec 2011 05:11:16 +0000): Sick shit, fuck the 1% and every weapon they got. If the 99 armed ourselves more with knowledge nothing they concot will strip that from us. Bring the pepper spray, tazers and whatever els, they cant stop us all.
Nguyen Dang (Sun, 28 Jul 2013 19:20:04 +0000): just cant, they can nuclear us all lol.


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