3. “Are you sure you don’t want to have kids? You have the hips for it!”
Yes, one woman says that a guy actually said this to her on a date. Most men should know mentioning a woman’s hips in any context is unacceptable. You may admire them, but let me straighten a couple of things out for you: 1) I said I didn’t want kids. I don’t want kids. If that changes, I’ll let you know; the way my body is shaped (and your truly stunning observational skills) does not affect my decision. 2) So you’re saying I have hips that look as though I could squeeze out a few seven-pound babies at any given moment? So you’re saying I have a particularly wide middle and could possibly be storing babies in there at this very second?
I don’t know what you’re trying to communicate, but you’re not getting laid.
SAY THIS INSTEAD: *Silence*
Eh, in general (unless we’re living together and you’re ready to put a fat ring on my teeny-tiny not-wide finger), don’t bring up having kids in a random conversation. It’s going to make things weird, especially sex; who’s to say you’re not poking holes in the condoms? You think my hips are ready for childbearing, don’t you? Do you see where this is going? Don’t you wish you left my hips alone?
