5 Olympic Events That Should Go Before Cycling

Lance Armstrong

Few people were all that surprised when they learned Lance Armstrong would finally admit to Oprah what the world had already figured out — that he’d doped his way to seven Tour de France victories. However, it turns out that the fallout could possibly put cycling’s status as an Olympic event in jeopardy if International Olympic Committee officials are implicated in the cover-up.

The IOC has already stripped Armstrong of his 2000 bronze medal, and we hope that’s as far as they go — we like watching cycling during the Olympics. Besides, if they’re going to eliminate Olympic events, we think these goofy and/or boring and/or embarrassing events should go first. 

Shockingly, racewalking became an Olympic sport long before the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics — it’s been around since 1904. While it looks like the competitors are in a mad dash to the john, they’re moving so awkwardly because the rules state that one foot must be in contact with the ground at all times. It’s an endurance event that takes stamina to complete (women and men compete in 20K races (12.4 miles) and men also compete in a 50K (31 miles) race. We’re not saying we could compete with this extremely high caliber of … walking. But we also have no desire to.

The potential for a broken neck? Huge. But other than that, this event just seems like the floor exercise for cheaters. Also, if trampolines are admitted into the Olympics, why not pogo sticks? Those are way harder to use.