5 Unspoken Rules About Dating and Sex

sean stratton wQkZdceduxs unsplash

If you’re just getting back into the dating game after a long break, it’s natural to be a little rusty. In truth, there are some best practices and common dating tips that you should brush up on before you have your first hookup.

Of course, the basics don’t change much. But things that were once acceptable may not be any longer. And you don’t want to make any major faux pas. Because when you cross an unwritten line, you may never even find out what you did wrong.

So to avoid unnecessary ghosting, follow these five unspoken rules about dating and sex.

1.    Stay off your phone

In the age of technology, it can be difficult to put down your phone for some actual real-life face time. But when you’re dating, it’s a must. Checking your phone constantly sends the message that you’re not so interested in your date. And if that’s the case, you may as well save everyone time and cut the date short.

2.    Don’t kiss and tell

There’s nothing wrong with a random hookup among two consenting adults, but this isn’t something you want to tell everyone about. Doing so would break a major unspoken rule about dating and sex. This is one rule that hasn’t changed much over the years. It’s okay to talk about a date, but it’s uncouth to disclose the details of any hookup.

3.    Agree before announcing anything on social media

When you do decide to take things to the next level and become a couple, don’t take it for granted that you’re both on board with a public announcement. If announcing your union on Facebook is important to you, talk to your partner about the appropriate time to do so. Going rogue on this front could put the brakes on your relationship before it even gets started.

Remember that when you announce a relationship, it’s going to invite other people’s opinions and well-wishes. It’s ill-advised to take this step before you’re ready as a couple.

4.    Be honest

One of the most important unwritten rules is that you’re going to be honest. You’re not going to tell someone you’re looking for a serious relationship when you’re only out for a hookup. And if there’s anything about your sexual history that should be disclosed, you should disclose that to your partner before you are intimate.

Most people understand that a relationship may or may not work, but it’s quite a slap in the face to find out that your partner was lying or withholding information.

5.    Hold unrealistic expectations

Regardless of how much you vibe with someone, they don’t really owe you anything. The best you can hope is that they will be respectful and kind. But you should understand that not everyone is this way. We can only control our own behavior, so avoid putting yourself into any risky situations when you go on that first date. And avoid holding your date to high expectations.

You may think the date went well, but they have other opinions. Or maybe they are hung up on someone else. Again, you can’t control the outcome, so don’t try. No amount of clinginess or excessive texting is going to get you what you want.

When you start dating, there are a few unwritten rules that could end up being the deciding factor on a second date. Break these rules, and you’re going to struggle to hold onto new relationships. And you may even make a few enemies in the process.

So be cool. Follow the unwritten rules outlined here to set your partner at ease and see, so you can both relax and see where things go.