6 Female Criminals Who Deserve TV Shows


Name of show: Genius Strippers

Nineteen-year-old Heather Johnson gave up tennis and Bible thumping for stripping and illicit drugs. Great trade, Heather! Then she gave up school and moved in with fellow 19-year-old genius stripper Ashley Miller. Instead of having tickle fights or playing WoW all night, the two hatched an idea to … rob a bank in Atlanta.

What could go wrong? Oh, just everything.

Johnson and Miller went to the wrong Bank of America branch than the one they had planned on. Oops. And they entered the bank without disguises; they did, however, don gaudy sunglasses and goofy smiles as they handed the teller a not-so-nice note demanding cash. The two made off with $11,000 and … went on a shopping spree.

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Then they were apprehended by police. The two were recently sentenced in Georgia; Miller will serve two years of a 10-year sentence, and Johnston got 10 years’ probation. The media labeled the two the “Barbie bandits,” most likely for their hair color and not because they were impossibly skinny with enormous pontoons for breasts. The show here? A TV movie. A story involving such nitwits can only carry someone’s attention for so long. Our idea: 90-minutes on Lifetime.