Double Stuf Oreos Aren’t Double Stuffed

Saddest. Day. Ever.

There are certain life events you never forget, like when you learned Santa Clause was really your drunk uncle in a dirty red suit, or the day you realized Mommy and Daddy weren’t really wrestling when you walked into their bedroom that one time. Here’s another for that list: Double Stuf Oreos don’t really contain twice the creme filling as their regular counterparts.

New York teacher Dan Anderson weighed 10 Double Stuf, Mega Stuf, and original varieties, as well as five wafters that didn’t have any creme on them, and then he crunched the numbers. Turns out, Double Stuf only had 1.86 times the filling. (Mega Stuf was found to have 2.86 times, but who the hell eats Mega Stuf, anyway?)

We know we shouldn’t be this broken up over a cookie’s filling (or lack thereof), especially considering that one serving of Oreos — three lousy cookies — contains 7 grams of fat and 160 calories and we probably shouldn’t be eating them. But despite Nabisco pinky swearing that their Double Stuf cookies do in fact contain double the Stuf, we still feel the same as Hercules after he realized he was in the wrong world …