If you’re a guy who likes to use a sex toy to get off, give yourself a hand. Er, you know what we mean. Whatever you need to do to get to where you need to get to sexually, so long as it’s within the legal limits, we applaud your efforts without judgement. However, we are going to judge what you write if you purchase your sex toy from Amazon.com and leave a review. We’ve posted male masturbation sex toy stories before (click here to take a look) and we enjoyed reading the comments so much that we poked around and found some more helpful, insightful comments. Some, we admit, left us with a terrible vision of guys … well, you know what they’re doing. Others just made us smile. Whichever side of the cock ring you land on, we hope you enjoy …
Maven Sleeve For Men ($31 @ Amazon.com)
If you’re spending $30 on a penis tube it better be a five-star device. And this one is, according to those who’ve reviewed it. As Kaito points out, it’s reversible and close-ended — a great thing for containing the mess. (You know what we’re talking about.) Kaito tucks it into his pants after he finishes, which sounds pretty gross to us for two reasons: 1) we don’t want that spilling in our pants; 2) this means Kaito spanks it in public. Real classy, Kaito!
Our favorite review:
Cum! The Complete Guide To Orgasm ($14 @ Amazon.com)
Okay it’s not a sex toy, but still, that’s some attention-grabbing cover image, right? It looks just like you when you’re about to …Ahem, sorry, we got off track.
According to the write-up on the back of the book, the average guy’s orgasm lasts 12.2 seconds. Don’t you wish it would last longer, like 12 minutes? Okay, maybe not that long, but more than 12 seconds. Whether you’re gay or straight, this book highlights how you and your penis can get more out of your sex session. You can get a copy for a few bucks cheaper, but do you really want a used copy of a book that details how to achieve the biggest possible orgasm? If you’re on the fence, read the review below and then think about it again.
Our favorite review:
Silicone Vagina Real Aircraft Cup Male Masturbator ($15 @ Amazon.com)
It’s supposed to feel like the real thing. But evidently it’s just “okay” unless you’re packing a three incher. Although, what does “okay” mean? Okay as in it feels like your penis is begin strangled by a silicone vagina? Or okay because there’s extra room like you’re putting your little soldier into the Holland Tunnel? We may never get the answer …
Our favorite review:
Crazy K&A 1.57″ Stainless Steel Male Chastity Device Kit Cock Cage ($17 @ Amazon.com)
Reviews are generally high for this device (except for the one we liked best). Sure, it looks like an old-timey torture device, but what guy doesn’t fantasize about sending his penis to jail when it doesn’t work properly? Made of stainless steel that’s “body safe” — which means it won’t rip your dick off, we presume — the inner diameter of 4 cm will be snug as a bug in a rug when it’s clamped onto your member.
Our favorite review:
Utimi 10 Modes Emulational Realistic Top-level Male Masturbation Cup ($19 @ Amazon.com)
With 10-frequency modes, the Utimi male masturbation cup is something the whole family can enjoy! Or family members with a penis. Actually, do you really want to share this thing with people in your family (or anyone)? On second thought, the Utimi male masturbation cup is something your whole penis can enjoy! It even looks like a flashlight with a funny light bulb at first glance, so if you get caught you might not really get caught! Made with medical silica gel — read: super soft and non-pinchy — it takes three AAA batteries to power. What, did you think those 10 frequency modes powered themselves?
Our favorite review:
