#4. GAME: Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker
POWER-UP: Befriending a chimp. During Michael’s dance-fueled quest to save kidnapped children from Mr. BIG — out of respect for the dead, we’ll hold back on making any of the 847 jokes that come to mind — he happens upon Bubbles, his real-life pet chimp. Bubbles transforms the King of Pop into a laser-shooting, dance-fighting robot known as Moonwalker. You know, standard video-game stuff.
IN REAL LIFE: Turns out chimps are sorta assholes. Case in point? Travis, a chimp who mauled the 55-year-old friend of his owner last year. The chimp lived in a house, ate steak and ice cream at the dinner table, dressed and bathed himself, and surfed the Internet. Adorable — he thinks he’s a person! But then one day out of nowhere Travis became angry, attacked the woman, and ate her face off. Yes, that’s right — he ate. her. face. off. Oh yeah and both of her hands too. Travis didn’t stop till he was beaten with a shovel, stabbed, and shot.
