The Hottest Wives and Girlfriends in Baseball
What’s more important than your fantasy baseball draft or your team’s playoff chances? Why, going position-by-position to find the MLB’s hottest wives & girlfriends.
By Jordan Burchette
There are many reasons to play professional baseball. Love of the game is a good one. So is absolutely shocking amount of money you get paid. But perhaps the absolute best reason to play baseball — or just about any other pro sport — is the fact that you can date or marry any woman you want. (And it’s always women, since as we all know, there are no gay men who play pro baseball.)
And so, as we approach Opening Day, we want to celebrate the wives and girlfriends of pro baseball players, position by position. (Sorry, we mean position as in “shortstop,” not position as in “missionary.”) This is their All-Star Team. But first, let’s get this out of the way: Many people use the term WAG to describe the Wives And Girlfriends of pro athletes. But it sounds so British and “droll,” we’re not going to stoop to that level. Instead we present the hottest player-affiliated women (PAWs) in Major League Baseball …
CATCHER: Marikym Hervieux (Russell Martin, New York Yankees)
Martin’s lone remaining artifact from his days playing in L.A., this French-Canadian model/actress is the sister-in-law of former Dodgers closer Eric Gagne, a fact made all the more relevant by the lack of any other available information about her.
FIRST BASE: Marie LaMarca (Allen Craig, St. Louis Cardinals)
Arguably the hottest entrant in the lineup relative to her husband — congratulations, Allen! Sort of! — Marie has been with Allen since the two were in high school. So you don’t have to fret about all the amazing sex you’re not having with her; Allen isn’t having it with her either.
SECOND BASE: Jennifer Utley (Chase Utley, Philadelphia Phillies)
Her husband’s skills may be eroding faster than Philadelphia’s infrastructure, but Jen Utley still looks as draftable as she did right out of college. (She also must get the Megan Fox thing a lot.) Last year, Pornhub’s audience of discerning users graciously voted her baseball’s comeliest wife, an honor bestowed all over photos of only the most resplendent of wives.
SHORTSTOP: Sharyn Meichtry (Brendan Ryan, Seattle Mariners)
Truth be told, the top prospect at shortstop is probably whatever model, actress, or model/actress Derek Jeter is currently dating. Thing is, the turnover in that post is so fast, you’d have to refresh this page before you finish reading this sentence in order to stay current with whatever hot chick occupies it. So instead, we’re honoring the hot stability of Brendan Ryan’s newly minted bride. So congratulations, Brendan — here’s hoping you manage to hit over the Mendoza Line this season!
THIRD BASE: Molly Beers (David Wright, New York Mets)
Yes, we know. Evan Longoria is currently dating — and making a baby mama out of — Jaime Edmondson, who was Playboy‘s Miss January 2010. But we’re still going with Molly, who is also a model, and who has a way cooler last name. Unfortunately, she and Wright just got engaged, so he’ll probably screw that up. Or as we like to say, “New York Mets that up.”
LEFT FIELD: Larisa Fraser (Ryan Braun, Milwaukee Brewers)
The country is lousy at keeping them, but Canada sure knows how to make ‘em. A Toronto frostbite rescuee turned American model, Fraser has been with Braun throughout all of the ups and downs his life has taken the last several years; she even became his fiancée late last year. At least now one of them has a ring.
CENTER FIELD: Kim DeJesus (David DeJesus, Chicago Cubs)
She’s a vocal vegetarian and active twitterer, but she of course gets a free pass on being those two extremely annoying things because she’s so attractive. Heading into last season, the local press in Chicago appeared to be far more excited about the city’s acquisition of her than of her husband. Which is understandable, considering the fact that the two will probably hit the same number of home runs this year.
RIGHT FIELD — Jamie Kotsay (Mark Kotsay, San Diego Padres)
Despite there being little photo evidence at the time, J.K. has been a mainstay on hot baseball wives lists since the ‘90s, when those lists were pecked out by pterodactyls on Gateway computers. But recent years have seen the market flooded with Jamie Kotsay pics, validating her pre-millennial legend.
PITCHER: Lisalla Montenegro (C.J. Wilson, Anaheim Angels)
Assuming Kate Upton’s recent denials of a relationship with Detroit Tigers ace Justin Verlander are true, starting on the hill is C.J. Wilson’s Brazilian fashion model girlfriend, Lisalla. Kudos to C.J. for his willingness to overlook Lisalla’s sizable balls, the existence of which we confirmed when we noticed she refers to herself in her Twitter profile as a “supermodel.”