FIRST BASE: Marie LaMarca (Allen Craig, St. Louis Cardinals)
Arguably the hottest entrant in the lineup relative to her husband — congratulations, Allen! Sort of! — Marie has been with Allen since the two were in high school. So you don’t have to fret about all the amazing sex you’re not having with her; Allen isn’t having it with her either.
SECOND BASE: Jennifer Utley (Chase Utley, Philadelphia Phillies)
Her husband’s skills may be eroding faster than Philadelphia’s infrastructure, but Jen Utley still looks as draftable as she did right out of college. (She also must get the Megan Fox thing a lot.) Last year, Pornhub’s audience of discerning users graciously voted her baseball’s comeliest wife, an honor bestowed all over photos of only the most resplendent of wives.
