The Best Advice Ever From TV Dads
Even the most idiotic TV dads — and there are a lot of them — impart great wisdom from time to time. So we rounded up some of their best advice ever.
By Ryan Penagos
Guys receive advice from two main sources when they’re children. One is their dads, who can teach them anything from how to hit a baseball to how to hit a bully. The other place is TV, which can teach them anything from … well, just anything. (Mostly via extraordinarily violent cartoons.) So naturally it follows that the best advice in the universe can be gotten from TV dads.
Even the most clueless idiot of a TV dad always manages to step up and supply some of the best advice ever. From Homer Simpson and Al Bundy to Tony Soprano and Archie Bunker, here’s the best advice TV dads had to offer on, booze, women, and other less important subjects.
And even though it’s not exactly advice, this Homer wisdom is also pretty important: “Alcohol: The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.”
Granted, he is a cop. But as pretty much every politician caught in a scandal has learned, it’s not the crime that gets you, it’s the lie about the crime.
Sometimes TV dads impart wisdom by being racist, ignorant (but also lovable!) homophobes themselves. “This is life so go and have a ball. Because the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you may not be right for some. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have … my opening statement. Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.” —Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Admittedly, he forgot one thing: “What would we do baby, without us? Sha la la la.”