Foreplay might just be a means to an end for you. But for us women, having sex without foreplay is like eating a slice of pizza without cheese — why even bother? And since better foreplay leads to better sex, you should learn how to do it right. The thing is, it’s not even that difficult so long as you follow these five simple rules of the game …
#1. DO SOMETHING YOU’LL ENJOY, TOO
We know when you’re just going through the motions and we see every yawn or glance at the alarm clock. If you’re not having fun, we’re not having fun. Remedy this by orchestrating the situation to suit your wants and needs. Just this once, being selfish can benefit both of you.
If you’re a butt guy, give her a full-body massage while she’s lying on her stomach so you’ll have a great view of her ass; if you love it when she has her legs wrapped around you, go for a hot-and-heavy make-out session. If you need more examples, maybe you should … you know, give this whole “sex” thing a break.
#2. DON’T GO FOR THE MONEY SHOT RIGHT AWAY
If a girl touched your penis out of the blue, you’d probably be pretty psyched, right? But if a guy touches your clitoris in the middle of an episode of House of Cards, it’s actually kind of painful. You have to work up to her hot spots.
Start out by touching the small of her back while kissing her, or put your hand on your thigh before progressing to caressing that thigh, then moving your hand up her leg. And when you do get to her erogenous zones, start out with a light touch — it’s way more of a turn-on than feeling like you’re an Xbox controller he’s jabbing. This is foreplay, not Saints Row. There’s a difference, fellas.
#3. SHOW HER HOW MUCH SHE’S TURNING YOU ON
Sex is just as mental as it is physical for women, making this one of the only times we definitely don’t want you to go strong and stoic on us. Go ahead and wag your tongue or tell her how sexy she looks in that lingerie, or T-shirt bra, etc. The ego boost will turn her on and put her into seductress mode, which is definitely something you want.
#4. INVEST IN SOME LUBE
As I suspect you’ve discovered from your one-on-one time, lube is God’s gift to mankind. And contrary to popular belief, women feel the same way — even those under the age of 60 — with studies that prove it: Almost 50 percent of people who’ve used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm, according to one study from Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion.
So introduce it before sex and up those odds even more. Just don’t overdo it. Glob it on like drywall spackling paste and it gets messy. Messy translates to uncomfortable. Uncomfortable equals — you get the idea.
#5. TAKE BREAKS
Why a touch (or tongue) that feels really good one minute can suddenly become “meh” is one of life’s great mysteries. Something that can actually help is giving her a break from the action if you’ve gone more than a minute or so without getting an increasingly enthusiastic response from her.
If that happens — you guessed it — she’s not loving it. And this can be the perfect time to suggest a switching game. You give her oral until she’s about to finish (let her know she should tell you to stop before she does), then switch positions; see how long you can keep switching before thrusting into the main event.