Finally There’s An $11,000 Coffee Maker

Instead of creating an army of RoboCops who distribute candy to good guys and flying elbows to evildoers, some former Apple and NASA engineers have decided to funnel their genius into something equally as important for humankind — the Blossom One Limited, a $11,111 coffee maker.

Of course it does way more than brew an expensive cup of joe — it also takes 1.3-megapixel photos and comes with Wi-Fi capabilities. Believe it or not, the camera isn’t included so you can Instagram pics of the dumb faces you make after burning your tongue. You’re actually able to input settings with the camera by scanning a code on certain bags. Once the code has been scanned, the Blossom One will figure out things like how hot the water should be, how much stirring should take place, and the correct ratio of coffee to water to produce an optimal cup of java for that specific type of coffee.

If you don’t have a bag that’s compatible with the machine — what are you poor or something? — you can input the settings manually. From there, it works like any other $10 coffee maker: low-paid elves living inside the machine crank cranks and pull levers until coffee eventually pours out.

The Blossom One Limited comes with a lifetime guarantee for defects and glitches, so there’s no need to worry about reimbursement if it goes all ED-209 on you. The creators expect to sell more for commercial use than to private consumers, but we figured we’d let you know since the holidays just around the corner.