The ‘Hot Crazy Matrix’ Sums Up Women and Dating

Bad news for anyone dating a red head, stripper, hairdresser, or anyone named Tiffany — they’re the types of ladies who’ll key your car, put dead rats in your mailbox, and mysteriously appear in your window glaring at you when you’ve brought someone else home. Well, that’s if you listen to the teachings of the Hot Crazy Matrix.

Also: There’s A Dating Site For Every Weirdo Out There

The totally scientific and thoroughly researched Hot Crazy Matrix is a man’s guide to dating. Treat it as gospel and you’ll land yourself a wifey. Drift from its teaching and, well, you already read about Tiffany.