Things That Didn’t Last As Long As Randy Moss

385022 f248WHAT: Mayfly
LIFE SPAN: 1 day, tops
Being a mayfly doesn’t sound so terrible on paper: They can fly, have a ripped thorax, have antlers on their ass, and spend their lives doing pretty much nothing but finding females and having sex with them.

Thing is, some mayflies last as little as 30 minutes, while the real old-timers live only about 24 hours — and that’s assuming they don’t get eaten by fish or splattered on a long-haul trucker’s windshield. And if it happens to be windy or raining that day? Forget it — the ladies stay in and gossip with the girls while the males fly around hopelessly looking for them. And then the mayflies die virgins.