29 Dirty Pickup Lines We Hope You’ve Never Used

dirty pickup lines you should never use

We don’t recommend using pickup lines because they often never come off as genuine or deadpan enough to work. And when you try too hard to win a woman over it usually comes off as desperation. However, a study from 2010 has found that women aren’t completely turned off by guys who use pickup lines. The pros were that they guys were seen as sociable, confident, and funny. The downside? They were also viewed as less intelligent and trustworthy.

Also: 5 Dating Mistakes All Guys Make

Should that give you a glimmer of hope? Not if you’re using any of these pickup lines. They’re crass, dirty, and up your chances of leaving the right type of lasting first impression. That said, some are funny or good ot have in the chamber if you’re already striking out and want a rejection story to take with you on the road.

1. So, how do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

2. Your daddy must have been a baker because you have a nice set of buns.

3. Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

4. You want to play circus? You roar, and I’ll throw you the meat!

5. Love is four letters, and so is what you and I should go do.

6. Again, be careful about how you go about playing these big cards. And, be ready for any kind of reaction. We wish you only the best with these incredibly dirty pickup lines.

7. I Just found out the FBI wants to steal my penis. Do you mind if I hide it inside you?

8. My cock just died, do you mind if I bury it in your ass?

9. I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragging my balls across your face later.

10. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into that motel room across the street.

11. Are you a termite, because you look like you’d like to have a mouth full of wood.

12. You know what I really like in a woman? My cock.

13. Do you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll have to owe you one.

14. Do you have a mirror in your pants, because I can see myself in them.

15. What if I told you that I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus?

16. I’m afraid of the dark. Will you sleep in my bed with me tonight?

17. Honey, I’m like a firefighter, I find them hot and leave them soaking wet.

18. Do you come here often or do you like to wait until you get home?

19. Would you let me melt in your mouth, not in your hands?

20. Hi there, we haven’t met. My name is Milk and I’ll do your body good.

21. Would you like to go on an ‘ate’ with me? Don’t worry, I’ll give you the ‘D’ later.

22. Are you an elevator? Because I really want to go down on you tonight.

23. Did you know the human body has 206 bones in it? How would you like it if I gave you one more?

24. Has anyone ever told you what a great voice you have? I’m thinking it would sound more beautiful if it were muffled by my dick.

25. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It’s just like a French kiss, but takes place down under.

26. Did you know smiling is the second best thing you can do with your lips?

27. Tell me, if I were a watermelon, what would you do with my seed? Spit or swallow?

28. Why don’t you come here, sit on my lap, and then we can talk about the first thing that pops up?

29. You must work at Subway because you just gave me a “Footlong.”

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