When Cute Animals Attack

These wide-eyed, pucker-lipped creatures may seem like they’re just trying to make friends, but don’t be fooled — pufferfish are the second-most poisonous vertebrate on the planet (golden poison frogs are the most poisonous), and will sooner paralyze your diaphragm than bat its big, dopey eyes at you.

seaturtleSEA TURTLES
Finding Nemo would have us all believe that sea turtles are friendly stoners who just want to surf oceanic currents and live in peace. But adult male sea turtles can weigh up to 200 lbs., and when they’re super horny, they’ve been known to assault divers. That’s what happened to Brian Bowen in the spring of 2007 while he was diving off the coast of Australia; a sea turtle very nearly pinned and Pulp Fictioned him against the reef.