The Amazing Zombie Diet!
Yes, Zombies love brains. But is the brain really the smartest part of the human body for them — or you — to eat?
By Zack Zeigler
It’s no secret that zombies love to eat human brains. We’re not sure why that is — just as we’re not sure why Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles love to eat sewer pizza — but we assume it’s because they’re not only nutritious, but also delicious.
However, it’s neither frugal nor environmentally friendly to devour only one part of a human victim (zombie Native Americans would never do such a thing). And are brains really the ideal part of a body to eat, or would, say, a nice forearm actually be preferable?
To find out how a zombie — or you — could best go about consuming a human body, we turned to training and nutrition expert Dr. Jim Stoppani, whose clients have included Dr. Dre, LL Cool J, and Mario Lopez. He gave us the lowdown on the nutritional needs of the living dead, the palatability of various body parts, and which part of your companions you’d want to snack on if you ran out of Funyons while stranded on a desert island.