#8. The CIA’s On Twitter | June 6, 2014
Now you can follow the CIA while they’re following you. Our country’s supposed last line of intelligent defense now has a social media handle. How long until it’s posting bathroom selfies? And how did they get a handle that’s only three characters long? (The minimum is six.) We could tell you, but then we’d have to kill you.
#9. Happy Birthday…On Mars! | June 24, 2014
In a true show of American ingenuity, NASA’s Curiosity Mars Rover has commemorated its first Martian year (687 days) in space. And, in a true show of American laziness, it’s travelled all of five miles since it’s been up there. BUT, in true American spirit, the Rover accomplished its mission in record time by finding evidence of an ancient Martian riverbed – pointing to signs of life at one point – shortly after landing.