Best Tips For Giving a Woman a Massage
Whether you’ve been together forever or you’ve just started dating, offering to massage a woman is a great way to score points. But to keep her from experiencing pain instead of pleasure while you have your hands on her, you need to know how to give her a massage. That way, when she strips down and gives you the green light to start rubbing you don’t accidentally apply the Vulcan nerve pinch.
For pointers on what to do — and what not to do — when massaging a woman, we spoke with Serena Vann, a Miami Beach massage parlor owner and masseuse with 10 years of experience.
Set the Mood
No need to burn incense and play the sounds of rain and thunder, but make the environment more conducive to relaxation by using a lamp instead of an overhead light and making a playlist that’s easy on the ears. Your tunes don’t have to be new age or instrumental, but if the song will rattle the walls or contains power chords, skip it.
Using oil or lotion will help your hands glide across her skin easier. You don’t have to pick up anything fancy from a website with a .xxx domain name, either. A bottle of Lubriderm from a local drug store will work fine.
Ask her to lie face down on your bed, and then straddle her lower body. (You can also kneel next to her, but why do that when you can straddle her?) “Start with the hands up in her shoulders and push all the way down her back in a fluid stroke,” Vann says. “Then come back up with your hands on either side of her with your thumbs in the middle of her spine. That should cover the whole back.”
Speeding through a massage 1) prevents her from relaxing, and 2) makes you seem like you’re uncomfortable. If you take your time you’ll appear more confident — even when that’s not the case. “When you rush, it feels kind of grabby and annoying,” she reveals. Also, if at any point your hands feel awkward or stiff while you’re doing a movement, that’s how she’s feeling. Change it up.
Your touch shouldn’t tickle her. It also shouldn’t feel like a torture rack. “You want a consistent pressure and a consistent flow,” Vann explains. “Don’t switch from really light to really deep.”
Focus on One Area At A Time
“Professional masseuses rarely work both sides at the same time,” she says. You shouldn’t either. Just remember to make your way over to the side you didn’t start with.
Push Out, Not Down
“Start on one side of the top of the spine and push the muscle out toward the shoulder, like in the traps area,” Vann suggests. “If you push out, it feels better; most people push down, and it hurts.” Push with your thumbs or the base of your palms.
Touch Her Butt
Approach this with caution: If you’ve just started dating and you’re both not super comfortable around one another yet, considering skipping this step. For everyone else: “Use both hands on her glutes and push in with the fingers or palms,” Vann recommends.
Play With Her Head
Make your hand into a claw and run it slowly from the nape of her neck up into her hair, stopping at the crown. Repeat. Then, according to Vann, “hold those points at the base of her head, where the head and neck connect. Press and hold it and count to five, and then move to another point.”
Practice on Yourself
When nobody’s around, of course. Explore and find grooves and dips in your shoulders and upper back. Those points are probably pressure points, Vann says, and you can find them more easily on a woman after you’ve found them on yourself. Plus, giving yourself a massage is a good way to test what a particular move is going to feel like on another person.