The Year’s 13 Most Americanest Moments

Dallas Mavericks Miami HeatDallas Mavericks Defeat the Miami Heat | June 13, 2011
Every Randy Tea Partying objectivist libertarian should love LeBron James. After all, he shamelessly acted in his own self interest when he arranged a media-circus payday in order to announce to the universe that he was ditching Cleveland to go to Miami. But in reality, LeBron became an instant villain. See, at heart, Americans value loyalty and modesty — especially when it comes to sports. And so most of the country leapt to its feet when a team led by a German dude trounced LeBron and his Miami Heat. Why? Because eff Lebron, that’s why. Also? Everyone secretly hates Miami.