Song #2: Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
“She’d been drinking too much eggnog,
And we begged her not to go,
But she forgot her medication,
And she staggered out the door into the snow.
When we found her Christmas morning,
At the scene of the attack,
She had hoof-prints on her forehead,
And incriminating Claus marks on her back.”
There’s a Lohanian amount of messed-up shit going on here: Binge drinking, pill popping, a hit-and-run, and a physical assault on a confused old lady by a big fat guy.