Scientists: Optimism Prevents Heart Attacks

Be Optimistic ModernMan.comListen up, sad sacks! A new Harvard study claims that adopting a positive outlook on life can protect you from a heart attack or stroke. And considering close to 600,000 people die from heart disease each year — sorry, forget we said that and LOOK AT THE SMILING CAT! — being happy is something we should probably all try to do more of.

Of course, that’s easier said that done. These days it’s easy to think of things that suck — paying taxes, getting older, the fact that poor Oprah is having so much trouble with her TV network — so we came up with a few suggestions for things to feel happy about …

Awesome cars

• When the the underdog actually wins

• When you win free stuff

• Colombian hookers

• All the goofy things the candidates said during the primaries

• The fact that the primaries are over. (Sorry, Newt.)

Day drinking

• Saying, “I’m too old for this sh!t.” Because it’s always funny.

• Mocking people who are bad at sports

• Van Halen’s reunion tour.

Hot chicks with Australian accents

• Hot chicks who have other accents … or no accents … basically, just hot chicks in general