Why Every Big Summer Movie
Is Going To Suck

Read that again. There have been six of these movies. (Three of them have been pretty enjoyable. —Ed.) While you have to admire its resilience, you also have to realize that they’ve reached that point with half a movie’s worth of actual story. (At least two movies’ worth. —Ed.) And anyone who says “But Fast Five wasn’t bad!” is also the kind of person who’ll dig a pizza crust out of the trash because it’s “perfectly edible.” (It wasn’t bad, and I’ve never done that … sober. —Ed.)