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12 Totally Demented Christmas Songs

You know all those Christmas songs about peace, love, and goofy reindeer? Turns out they’re actually about murder, blackmail, and terrorism!

By Matt Christensen

charlie brown christmas

When we were kids, we thought Christmas songs were wholesome. After all, we sang them at school recitals and our grandparents played them on the Victrola. But boy, were we wrong.

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After doing some investigation … and overanalyzing … we’ve concluded that Christmas songs are, in fact, totally demented. They pretend to be about the most wonderful time of the year when in reality they’re about murder, blackmail, racism, and sexual deviance. Take a look for yourself and maybe you’ll think twice before singing along to Racist White Christmas outside your poor neighbor’s front door.

Next: Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer